Real Stories of Life with God

Ep 16 | A Homeschool Mom and Bible Teacher Finding Peace in the Patience of God

November 10, 2021 Episode 16
Real Stories of Life with God
Ep 16 | A Homeschool Mom and Bible Teacher Finding Peace in the Patience of God
Show Notes Transcript

Oooo, you all are going to enjoy this episode, I know it. Michelle Parnell is a fascinating, kind, diligent friend who deeply loves discovering Jesus in the pages of her Bible, teaching, serving and reading for hours at night. We talk about the longsuffering nature of God, how 'we' are the thing that can most stifle our love for God, and even The Chosen tv series. 

Speaker 1:

Hey friends, welcome to real stories of life with God, the podcast with our pretty explanatory title, because that's what we're here for a conversation with real people about their unique life with God. I'm your host, Chelsea UBank. And I'm so glad you're here. Let's jump into today's episode.

Speaker 2:

I'm glad to hear. So tell us a little bit about,

Speaker 3:

Okay, well, um, I'm Michelle Parnell. I'll say my name again. Um, so I don't that's first of all, great questions. I love all your questions. Um, let's see. So I am a wife to IB for 22 years. I have three amazing daughters. Eve is 18 and, um, Abby is almost 16. Lizzie is 10. Um, I homeschool them and, um, I'm trying to think about how have I tell people about me without taking an hour because I'm old now and I, lots of them, lots of things to say. Um, so I thought about the fact that I could really boil down my life to about three different areas. One is, I'm a lifelong learner. I'm an avid reader. I read way too much every day, probably. Um, I love to teach and I love to serve the Lord by serving people. So everything I do falls into one of those categories. So like, um, a homeschool, the girls, which is satisfies my need for learning and teaching. Um, but when I, when I do things like at church teaching college students or being with youth, that's teaching them and that serving the Lord, but I love to teach them. Um, when I do like, I help advise our homeschool beta club, that's teaching those kids how to serve. So, I mean, I started thinking I'm like, there's a thing there. You know? Um, I, right now I'm writing for Evans and a guest. So I saw magazines, which is this again, is learning about people. And then the way I write my articles, I'm telling and teaching people about what I learned. It all kind of falls into those things. And we were talking a minute ago, the podcasts that I do that take heart homeschool podcast. I have learned some things that I wanted to share with other people. So, um, anyway, so that's kind of me. And, um, like I said, I love to read and no one ever believes me when I say this, but I can, I probably read three hours a day. It's usually at night,

Speaker 2:

Are you someone fake fiction? Non-fiction predominately,

Speaker 3:

So I relaxed by reading. So it's mainly fiction, but I try to make my non-fiction in there too, but I have educated fiction. Is that okay to say, like I have deep historical fiction. That's like real life kind of Forrest Gump characters are stuck in real life. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Okay. I'm going to read a couple of the verses that, um, were kind of some foundation for two of these questions. They come from Matthew 22. Jesus has asked which commandment in the law was the greatest. And he said, love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And the second, love your

Speaker 3:

Neighbor as yourself. This is my first question is what currently stirs your left for God. I've said before. I love your questions because, and people listening, if you have not, you, first of all, you should come talk to Chelsea because, um, but if you don't think about these questions because they're, they're just amazing the way you've summed up things. Um, so God's word serves my love for him. I, I actually, um, I got my Bible out the other day and I don't feel like this necessarily every time I open it, but I literally just want to hold it and touch it and look at it. And I think about the hours I've spent in God's word and at different seasons of my life, there's been more and there's been less. But when I think when I, when I start teaching or reading it, it just, it's, it's exciting. And, um, one of the things I love the most about his word is that I'm always discovering things or rediscovering things. And it's like, I think God is, I feel like he's sitting in heaven going, I was waiting for you to find that, you know, because I get so excited about it. Um, and one of the things that has been really, um, exciting for me or the past, I don't know how many years, it's probably been 15 or 20 years, which is cause I'm old. Um, just that whole connection, old Testament to new Testament. Um, and I truly fell in love with the old Testament. It, it really probably was right after I got married. So it probably was 20 years ago. They'll test is my favorite and I do study the new Testament, but I love seeing Jesus and the old Testament. Um, and then again, when I said earlier, I love teaching God's word to see these students. I just, I just need to know, like I ask them and they get tired of it. I'm sure I'm like, did you learn something new today? Did you hear something you have never heard about God's word before or did something click and to see them like that, that light bulb turn on that they made a connection that, oh, the old Testament is not dead. It is like Jesus, like there, it's so exciting. Um, so that's one thing and the other thing is not quite as holy, but it kinda is, um, uh, the, the TV show, the chosen this series, um, this is how a TV show has truly stirred my love for the Lord. I feel like over the years, lots of Bible shows have been hooky and they have been as well done as those people felt like they could do them, but the chosen is put, um, faces and conversations and personalities, the brought them to life in a way that I have never seen before. And so, um, that makes me go back and look at my Bible. So when we watch it, if something is said, um, in one of the episodes that we I'm unfamiliar with or IB, and I do this all the time, he'll say, um, oh, I don't, I don't remember that scripture being used like that in the Bible. So we go back to the scripture and look it up. And so that actually is fun. And even today, Lizzie and I were doing her a little Bible study for GA. She has assignments. Now we have a 20 minute Bible study a day, Priscilla triers, um, study on, um, cool their identity in Christ. And, uh, and she was reading something and she said it was in the new Testament about the disciples. And she said, mom, she read it. And she read everything really well. And she goes, I know that he's the son of Alphaeus because of the chosen, like she, and she has, she knows now, like she only knows from creation. Yes. Even for her at 10 super. So I know that's not as holy necessarily, but I'm a huge fan.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So on the flip side, is there anything that currently stifles your love for God?

Speaker 3:

So I was thinking about this one and the only answer I can come up with is I stifled my love for the Lord and that I could sit here and give you a list of it's my kids. It's my schedule. It's people, it's the government. I mean, I can give you a list, but ultimately it's me because I'm when I allow my eyes or my trust to shift from the Lord. That is when trouble starts, you know, um, if I like want to take control of things myself, or I get mad because of what somebody else did or didn't do, or it's just me, you know what I'm saying? Like, um, and throughout my life, I would, I guess you can call it pruning or maybe even just removing like, um, God has taught me certain things can take my focus off of him. And he is taking those things away from me. And some of the stuff he's not, he hasn't given back yet. That's a totally different conversation. But I mean, sometimes he'll say, um, you can't spend as much time with this person because when you're with this person that there's stirrup anxiety or covetousness, or there's something going on there, you need to love them, be their friend, but maybe not as closely as you currently are, you know? And then a season. And once I kind of get my heart in the right place, then I can be back, you know, or whatever that is. Um, so my short answer is it is me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's good. But a really just like clear, succinct, simple, like, okay, wherever my, wherever my focus is or whatever satisfaction or desires I'm trying to meet on my own or with myself or in myself, whatever's not being met in the Lord is something that distracts me from him or clouds five view of him. Yup.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And I think that can be different things at different times and different for different people. And sometimes it takes me a really long time to realize that it's me. I mean, cause I can go down that rabbit trail and I can be like, well there's this and this circumstantial.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

But when it comes back to it, if I'm where I'm supposed to be, the things that my, then my relationship with the Lord is where it's supposed to be.

Speaker 2:

And I wonder too, if it even, it can be like sneaky about me focusing on how I feel about something, you know, then I'll, um, I'll try to control it or make something happen or perfect or perform or do something to, or manipulate or I'll do something I'm like, yeah. But you're just wanting to feel good when the Lord might be asking you for a little discomfort, like come away from the comfort a little bit and into me. Do you, have you found in your life that there are mantras or scriptures or maybe just relying on the holy spirit to turn or like redirect you a little bit? You know what I mean? I mean, as we're going with him, hopefully as we get closer, I heard someone say one time that greater maturity in the Lord, you actually become more sensitive to you're turning away because you have tasted it. Like I have. Yeah. I've tasted what it feels like to walk very closely with the Lord. So when I'm not doing that, when I let things get in the way I can feel it. Right. So sometimes I don't need necessarily this big blinking, like neon turned left, turn around and I go the opposite way, but I still may take me weeks before I, it, I value it enough or I want it bad enough. I want him bad enough to say no to myself or surrender or something.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I don't know that there's a specific scripture, but I do think that there are things that happen. Whether something Steve says in the sermon, listen to even listen to other people, talk to you on your podcast is like, whoa, wait a minute. I need to examine that a little bit longer. You know? So I don't think it's, I don't have a specific scripture that I have posted someplace that reminds me is usually the Lord is putting things in front of me to remind me it's whether or not I'm paying attention and how long it takes me to pay attention.

Speaker 2:

Yes. Or how long it takes me to, to admit that he is the better thing.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Normally I'm like, yeah, but this, this, this feels better the way that I'm doing it. I'm like, but it's not better. Right. You might feel better in the moment. It's not, you know, obedience or following or surrendering or trusting.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So the ultimate freedom that we get in him, it's like temporary little freedoms,

Speaker 2:

But it's not, it's not the same. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna fill in the blank. The truth that God is blank means a lot to you because

Speaker 3:

The link and it goes with that

Speaker 2:

Question,

Speaker 3:

It does the, um, the truth that God is patient, maybe long suffering, whatever word you kind of want to use there because how many times does he have to put something in front of me to make me come back or realize? I mean, maybe the warning flags have been there all along. The merge sign is there. I'm just not merging. Right. Um, and so, because I think, I think that as a parent, too, I get so frustrated with my children when I'm like, I have told you or asked you that a hundred times, why haven't you done what I need you to do? And I know the Lord is going, oh, Michelle,

Speaker 2:

It's the same.

Speaker 3:

You know? And it could be those times where I'm yelling at my kids and he's like, stop. Like I am patient with you. You should be patient with them. And I I've, I feel it that daily, I failed at that today. So I'm thankful that he is patient with me and loves me enough to not smite me. Like immediately just go, I'm done with you. Yes. Yes. I'm not good at this yet. Does that make sense? Like, like, no matter what my answers are today, I'm not, I'm not there. I'm not going to be there until I'm with the Lord. I'm I'm just right there.

Speaker 2:

Hmm. Which that used to frustrate me. I used to hate that. I mean, I don't know if it was just like the earner in me wanted to be able to get there. I wanted to be worthy of it. You know, of his choosing of his patients of his love, his kindness. I wanted to be worthy of it myself, my standard or whatever, which meant getting there to a place that was like, okay, you're good. Now you can just coast because you've made it. I used to hate that now I kind of like it a little bit because I'm like, God being infinite can see who I'm going to be when I'm with him. Right. He's not worried about me not making it because it's not based on me. Right. Right. So the fact, so the point is that I'm doing it with him. And the point is the magnitude of Christ that credits to me, all the things, even as I'm stumbling and not trusting, or I'm choosing lesser things over him, it's like, I don't think that's like, oh, well there's freedom to just do those things. But, uh, I think there is a, a humility for me to remember constantly every day that it is, I'm not the one holding it up. I'm not the hero of the story. Right. Me doing it perfectly is not the point. I mean, knowing him, loving him, being drawn closer to him, that is the point

Speaker 3:

And just being obedient and what we want us

Speaker 2:

To do. And I think, I don't know about you because I know some things are outside of our control, but I'm learning how I am more likely to abide and stay closer is whatever's in my control. You know, they talk about like union with Christ can not be touched. Like your union with Christ is held on crisis hinged on crisis. It has nothing to do with you, your communion with him, right. Can be distracted or whatever. Cause that's kind of more about your choices maybe, or disobedient or sin or struggles. But I'm, I'm learning that even though there are a lot of things outside of my control, um, it doesn't have to be some grand gesture every time back to him, I can really just ask for help. Right. And the fact that I'm needy is what he wants for me. You know? Like I don't necessarily have to be doing great all the time for it to be good or whatever for it to be good between us. Like I can be struggling and asking for help. Right. And that'd be good. Right. You know? Okay. Well last question is what is something you were looking forward to?

Speaker 3:

Um, so this, this year for Christmas Eve gets to come home. She's Abby said that the other day she said, you know, being homeschoolers Christmas is, I mean, it's always been special, but we didn't have special days off from school. I mean, we were off from school, but we were still home. It's not like this year Eve gets to come home and we get to have her for a couple of weeks, which will be the first time she's been home for than like two days since she went to college. So I'm looking forward to that, I think would be fun. Well, thank you

Speaker 1:

For making the time

Speaker 3:

To talk with me. Thanks for asking. It's great. Like I said, they're super, um, introspective questions to make me really think good. And, and to realign and repurpose and some of them are reminders about, you know, okay. So I know this about myself. What can I do differently today?

Speaker 1:

Listening friends. It means a lot that you added us to your day today. Thank you so much wherever you find yourself on your journey with Jesus. I hope you finished this episode with your faith cheered, refreshed or strengthened until next time.