Real Stories of Life with God

Ep 34 | A Soon-To-Be Adoptive Mom Discovering New Depths of God's Sovereignty

May 18, 2022 Episode 34
Real Stories of Life with God
Ep 34 | A Soon-To-Be Adoptive Mom Discovering New Depths of God's Sovereignty
Show Notes Transcript

Lindsey Ellington and her family are dear to us and this conversation is sure to reorient you toward God. After a long journey, in the coming months they are heading to Costa Rica to welcome two little boys into their family! She talks about how studying Scripture word for word is cultivating new love for it, and how much she treasures the people in her life. She opens up about how selfishness can stifle our relationship with God *and* others, and we talk a great deal about how trusting God's sovereignty creates peace in a way nothing else can. I hope you enjoyed hearing a little of their adoption story (and I mean it when I say I want to have her back on at some point to share more once the boys join their home). 

Chelsea Eubank:

Hey friends, welcome to Real stories of life with God, a podcast with a pretty explanatory title, because that's what we're here for a conversation with real people about their unique life with God. I'm your host Chelsea Eubank, and I'm so glad you're here. Let's jump into today's episode. Lindsey. Yeah. Tell us a little bit about you. All right.

Lindsey Ellington:

So my name is Lindsey Ellington. I am married to my college sweetheart for 12 and a half years. And I am a mama to three, but soon to be a mom of five through international adoption, and really excited about that. I'm a homeschool mama. And we live on a on some land. So I'm a wannabe farmer. And I love to be in my garden, and all that good stuff. But also, I wanted to say thank you. Because this podcast has been really fun to listen to. And I feel like I've gained a lot of wisdom and encouragement from other believers that have podcast a

Chelsea Eubank:

couple of the verses that inspired to my questions are in Matthew 22. And I think I usually read ESV. But I have the NIV. Today, Pharisees guys together, an expert in the law tested him with this question. They said, Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law and Jesus response, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. And with all your mind, this is the first great, greatest commandment. And the second is like it Love your neighbor as yourself. My first question for you is what currently stirs your love for God.

Lindsey Ellington:

So what source of love for God right now? And this is like, probably a no duh kind of answer. Like, of course, that should start your love for God. But right now, it is His Word. And I'm studying scripture. I've done like a lot of like books, and you know, Bible study books in the past, but kind of over the last few years, the Lord has just kind of led me back to like, studying just the Bible and like diving deep, diving deep into his word. And I've had some opportunities to, like, have Bible studies with friends, where we look into historical context, and what the word like looking at words, like the Greek word, and exactly what it meant for them, and so you know, how it's translated now. So just looking at that, and studying the Bible word for word. And that's been an encouragement to me. And I've always read the Bible, because I've been a believer for a long time, since I was young. But just I've never really loved scripture like I do now. And it's really changed my life in a lot of ways. And it stars my love for God. Because, you know, often we're like, I just don't know what to do in this situation. I don't know what his will is, or I don't know. You know, and if, and then we're like, we just, I just want to know God more, but then you just look and you're like, oh, everything is literally right here in his in his word, like, he has written it all out for us. And so should we should, you know, always go to that first. And I'm not always that's always first place I go to, but I'm trying to do that more and more. So that's really stirred my love for God, I also have second one. And that is my people, like the people in my life. And a lot of that, like what I said before about studying Scripture also is spurred on by the people in my life, like the women in my life that I have been studying with, who have been kind of an example or role model and that, and they encouraged me and all of that. And I just felt like I have a lot of women in my life that have just really encouraged me in my walk with the Lord, and you are one of him. I'm so thankful

Chelsea Eubank:

for you to do likewise.

Lindsey Ellington:

So I think that is another thing that just really stirs my love for God right now. Especially.

Chelsea Eubank:

Yeah, yeah. It is kind of one of those things can be really sweet when if you've been reading it around the Bible for a long time. And it gets stale or something. It is kind of sad, you know, and it's extra sweet and extra gift. I think the way you phrase that right with I've never really loved the Bible. I've known the Bible and I trusted the Bible, and I knew it was valuable but loving it is different.

Lindsey Ellington:

Yeah. Yeah. And it's, it's funny, like when you look at because I always think I need to have like these new profound, like, Bible verses that no one ever looks at that are like my life verse, But I kind of go back to some of those that are, you know, a little, maybe more well known. And when you really look at them, it's like, wow, that is good truth. I mean, it's just Amazing how it's all right there. And just like that, even like trusting the Lord with all your heart lean not on your own understanding, you know, in all your ways acknowledge Him, He will make your paths straight. And it's like that one is, you know, always quoted, you see it like at Hobby Lobby. Right? Right. But when you really look at that, it's just it's just good stuff. So

Chelsea Eubank:

and knowing it and practicing it. Two very different things. Yes. Yeah. So I've been talking about that a lot like the incident James, where talks about being a doer and I hear the word. I know the word, but it's like, you know, that verse. You know, Proverbs three, yep. So long, but when I'm in a moment where I really need that, do I practice? Has that become like a part of me? So it's kind of a good, good word for the verses in scripture that's very familiar to us. As opposed to saying, I already know that I don't need to read it. Right. Like, well then go out and implement it, you know, go out and practice it. Maybe. Maybe it would give new fresh life to bursts if you're saying this actually changed my mood today. Yeah, yeah, definitely. That's good. Okay. On the other hand, is there anything that's currently stifling your love for God?

Lindsey Ellington:

Oh, my goodness. Everyone's always like, no, nothing on yeah, there is. One you really got to think through. So I had a couple of different words, but I settled on, I settled on selfishness stifles my love for God, I feel like I get in these ruts where I'm focusing so much more on myself, like, what I want, what I think I need. And my focus is not on the Lord, like, in all situations, big and small. But I have found that when I am more focused on myself, I'm definitely like, not as joyful, a little ungrateful. And just just really kind of off. But the, the opposite of that, like, when I'm really focused on God, you know, you've got joy and thankfulness, and you just feel encouraged. So, it's just interesting to look at, like, when I'm being selfish, how that affects so many aspects of my life. And it definitely affects my relationship with the Lord. But you can also look at it like with human relationships to like with my husband, or my kids, my friends, when I, you know, get caught up in like, just me, me, me, then those relationships suffer a lot more. And, and like your verse, love your neighbor as yourself. You know, that's, it's hard to do. But, but that was his command. And we have to remember that, and it's really hard. And it's been really hard for me lately. And I think just being a stay at home mom, and, you know, kind of go in here and there. And it just, it's just hard to not look into, like, well, what is it that I really want to do? And I think our culture to says, well, let's, you know, what do you want? What do you mean, there's so much focus on self, in our culture. And as Christians, you know, we want to be countercultural, like we don't we have to be because it's not about us. So, and I think, to going along with that, that, like I said, the second part of musters my love for God is my people. And when I'm selfish, I don't get as much time with my people. And so I suffer from that, too. So because I'm not My love is not being served for God. It's being stifled. Yeah, yeah. ties together. So it

Chelsea Eubank:

really does. Even I've never really thought about that until you just said that, but the way you phrase it, whatever's hindering what stirs my love for God, inevitably, Will is gonna stop, take me the other direction. And if I'm not taking steps towards him, I might be either stagnant or taking steps away from him or something. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Also, I feel like, would you agree? I've been thinking a lot about how I feel like my selfishness is often tied to when I've am operating kind of in like a scarcity mindset, like, I need something that I'm not being given. It's hard to demand it. Yeah. When I might get it from the Lord. Like, it's the stay home mom, for example, because I'm in that I'm in that same place in life, right. I need time to recharge. Right? Which, for health reasons, there that is totally a thing. Good. But if I'm saying I need it to look this way, or this is super pleasurable for me, or it's more entertainment than rest right? Because I want my way. Almost wonder. And I'd be interested in your thoughts. I almost wonder if I think that way because I'm not trusting that he could provide for me in that moment of need. Right? Like, yeah, I know what I need to make this better to make me feel better, right? So I'm gonna try and fight for that which ends up me being selfish. I'm trying to, like, do something, make it happen, kind of, as opposed to trusting God to make that happen for me and be for me what I need,

Lindsey Ellington:

right? Yeah. Yeah. And it kind of kind of goes back to that verse in Proverbs, you know, trust in the Lord with everything, like he is going to he's, he's gonna make that past. Right. And but but it is, you know, when you're, when you've got something that you're that you desire so much, that you just like, want to have it and usually that it's not something that right, it's usually something that's really good. And then it's not, you know, anything that anybody would say, you shouldn't be doing that. But if we're not seeking the Lord, and just trusting that this is what, you know, what he may not want you to have that certain thing. So, I don't know, I'm kind of rambling here, but I wanted to try to tie this. Like, just with our, with our adoption, and, you know, we could kind of see it, we could see the picture of what we wanted it to look like. But it's not, you know, it's not going to be what it looked like, and that's okay. But it took us a while to get past that, you know, you have this, these certain desires. And again, they weren't bad things. It's just not what the Lord had in store for us.

Chelsea Eubank:

Right. And in our limited understanding. It's hard for us to be limited. Yeah, you know, and trust that, how it's working out. He knows he knows it's better for those kids, you know, is is better for y'all. But we can't see all that he sees. And so yeah. Okay, my next fill in the blank, all right. truth that God is blank means a lot to you. Because, like

Lindsey Ellington:

I said, the truth that God is sovereign means a lot to me, because that brings peace and in every situation, and just looking at how if I walk in obedience to Him and trust Him, then and this is kind of what we were just talking about, but I can know that he will accomplish exactly what his plan is for my life and not for mine. So and that is, I mean, almost exactly what we're saying that he is sovereign over all things like, we ultimately don't have to worry, like, sometimes I look. And I'm like, why am I so worried about that? Or why am I trying to plan that, because He's sovereign over that. And if I'm seeking after him, then he is going to reveal His will. And he's going to, I mean, he's gonna accomplish His plan. And I don't have that Bible verse. But there's a verse about that. I can't remember where it is, but about him accomplishing His plan, and our lives. And so it just kind of as a reminder, and there's a song, I'm sure you know, it sovereign over us. And that song has kind of always, it's always been on my heart. But then, when my family was kind of going through some things a few years ago, a friend actually mutual friend of ours, reminded me of that song, and it's so good. And I did, I do have the lyrics that I thought, if we have time, go for sugar. So so the lyrics to this song over and over rice, which I believe is written by Michael W. Smith, and then also saying that Shane and Shane, so there is strength within the sorrow. There is beauty in our tears, and you meet us in our morning with a love that cast out fear. You are working in our waiting, you're sanctifying us, when beyond our understanding you're teaching us to trust, you are wisdom unimagined, who could understand your ways, reigning high above the heavens, reaching down and endless grace. You're the lifter of the lowly, compassionate and kind. You surround and you uphold me and your promises are ModuLite even what the enemy means for evil, you turn it for good and for your glory. Even in the valley, you are faithful, you're working for our good and for your glory. And then the chorus says your plans are still to prosper. You have not forgotten us. You're with us in the fire and the flood your faithful forever. Perfect and love you are sovereign over us. And I mean, I have nothing else to say that right. That's yeah, So good. I think you know, it is it's good those, you know, daily scriptures that you can get sent to your phone or you know you have on an app or whatever. And just just the little reminders that bring just little truths to your day, even, you know, even if you don't have time to sit down and study it, you've read those words. And throughout your day, you can be reflecting on those. And just, you know, hearing His Word is just such a good, good reminder of those truths and what his nature is and ask

Chelsea Eubank:

one more question about adoption. You think being shot just got matched? Yes. Spend a long process with everyone probably knows that adoption is just a long process,

Lindsey Ellington:

you know? Yeah. Ours has been a little longer because

Chelsea Eubank:

COVID? Yes. All right, a long time going. So now, I mean, we're not obviously on the entire end, because they're not here yet. But having finally gotten matched. Does that with your your word about the truth that got us sovereign gives me a lot of peace? Like, obviously, that's something you've been thinking about this whole time? Yes. But having finally being matched, can you look back then and say, I'm really glad that I really glad he graced me with that, or I struggled in that way still, or like, now I'm realizing X. Does that make sense? So it sounds like, like now being on the end, where you finally got matched, and we have a plan, and we can imagine who they are going to be? Yeah. Is there anything that you're thinking about thus far? In the process? That makes sense?

Lindsey Ellington:

Like looking back at? Yes, yeah. Oh, goodness. So there has been I mean, the process has just, it's been really interesting. And hopefully one day, maybe you can invite me back. Yeah. Exactly. The whole story. But, but yeah, just looking back at little things that he that he knew all along that we didn't know. And, and also little things that, like we tried to force. So because we started, you know, we started our journey, we felt called to adoption, we weren't exactly sure what that meant. We started with foster care. And we did some short term foster care before we had kids. And then, once we, when we started having kids, we just kind of felt the, the, the Lord was leading us to adoption, and specifically to international adoption. And, and then we started that process. And since then, we have changed countries that we were adopting from, and we've had to make a lot of changes. And, you know, looking back, it's not like, we don't look bad back at it, like, oh, we made mistakes, like we the Lord didn't want us to be in that country or in, you know, all the the little the little things that we've changed along the way, it's not that we were in the wrong place. It's just that's where the Lord had us. And that in that process, and how he was changing our hearts all along the way and leading us to where we are, we're supposed to be. And now that we've been matched, and I've been able to look back at even dates, like dates are big to me. So I've been looking at dates of the of our process versus these children's process. And it's amazing how they line up and it's just like, okay, only God could have known that, like, only he could have orchestrated that. And all along the way. You know, we were thinking it was gonna go one way and it didn't. But he had that he was, you know, behind the scenes making that happen for us. And so,

Unknown:

yeah, yeah,

Lindsey Ellington:

I'd love to share, like so many more details that we have here.

Chelsea Eubank:

Yeah. I do love what you said, though. I do love the way you phrased just say, we weren't making mistakes. He was just redirecting. Yeah. You know. So there's something because that's an easy thing. Yeah. When something changes, you're like, what did I get it wrong? Right. Did I fail?

Lindsey Ellington:

Did I do the wrong thing?

Chelsea Eubank:

Did we do the wrong thing? Did I listen to the wrong voice? It was not the case, because this was really hard, or sad or just discouraging, right? Was that me? Yeah. Like, it's really hard not to think that. But what what this part of your story I hope is encouraging people with is you just keep following him. Every day, even when things change, even when things don't go the way you think they should, like, believing that he might be doing something that you might not have any idea about. It might not even be about you. Just asking you to follow. He's just asking you to keep trusting. That's really

Lindsey Ellington:

encouraging to me personally. Right? And that's and that's been I mean, all along the way because there was times I mean, I'll be honest, there's times that we wanted to give up And, but the Lord just kept starting our hearts and was like no. And I mean, we even were down to like, we were about to send the email of this is it but then he used a little things. And actually he used some, some of the things that that I was saying, like our hearts desired for a certain, like our family would look a certain way or you know that, that our process is going to look like this. And that was kind of what kept us going. So had my heart been and wanted something different anyway than he then we may not have kept moving forward. And even in the end, that's actually the thing that kept us going. So I know that sounds confusing, but but it's just amazing how he used even my my, I don't I don't know the right word. I really like my fleshly desires, but he just used our Yeah. He just he just worked in ways that we really never would have thought so example.

Chelsea Eubank:

Super cool. Okay, so last question is What is something you are looking forward to?

Lindsey Ellington:

So I'm looking forward to the new season in our lives, and like we were just talking about with adoption, and to become not only a mom of five, because we are adopting to children. But what that looks like with being an adoptive family, and it's, you know, it will have its share of of good and bad and we know that we're not naive to that. But we are really excited to see how the Lord grows us in this next season. In every way, I mean, physically, we're growing. And then we know that he will grow us spiritually and, and even emotionally because there will be a lot of emotions that come along with this for we're all of us involved, but but we're really excited and expectant just to see him work through it. Yeah. Yeah, we're excited.

Chelsea Eubank:

Listening friends, it means a lot that you added us to your day to day. Thank you so much. Wherever you find yourself on your journey with Jesus. I hope you finished this episode with your faith cheered refreshed or strengthened. Until next time