I loved this conversation with my friend Callie Gurley. She shares about her current season with her husband Justin and daughter Hadley as well as honestly where she is with God. We talk about new anxiety that comes with parenting, the power of words, how teaching the Bible deepens your love for God, and more. One quote, "I have struggled a lot with, the the pain in our lives versus God loving me, and I know the right answer. But it's like my mind default is, maybe He doesn't. And I hate to even admit that to myself, but like, it always just lingers there." It's a light but profound conversation and I hope you enjoy it!
I loved this conversation with my friend Callie Gurley. She shares about her current season with her husband Justin and daughter Hadley as well as honestly where she is with God. We talk about new anxiety that comes with parenting, the power of words, how teaching the Bible deepens your love for God, and more. One quote, "I have struggled a lot with, the the pain in our lives versus God loving me, and I know the right answer. But it's like my mind default is, maybe He doesn't. And I hate to even admit that to myself, but like, it always just lingers there." It's a light but profound conversation and I hope you enjoy it!
Hey friends, welcome to Real stories of life with God, a podcast with a pretty explanatory title, because that's what we're here for a conversation with real people about their unique life with God. I'm your host Chelsea Eubank and I'm so glad you're here. Let's jump into today's episode. Kelly. Hi, thank you for coming all the way up here. It's way more fun in person, like remote ones are a little easier because of people's schedules and having a toddler and all the things but I would so much rather talk in person. So tell us a little bit about you.
Callie Gurley:Okay, so, um, I consider myself kind of boring. So I've been married to Justin, a lot of y'all know his family girly for almost 10 years, 10 years this year. We have a seven year old Hadley. And for work, I work at a pellet plant in Kammok. And I'm a production coordinator. And I really love my job. I'd never thought I'd be one of those people that love my job, but I work with my dad, which is
Chelsea Eubank:always wondered how you got into doing that. him? Yeah. Okay, cool.
Callie Gurley:Things I like to do. We have chickens, or I have chickens. Justin really doesn't claim them. I have 40 chickens already. They're like, they're fun. I really love them. And so I don't amazing. I don't really I mean, they just lay eggs. And I just, you know, have take care of Walmart. Yeah. And I usually have a garden. I don't this year because I'm trying to scale back a little bit on what's all on my plate. But I really like gardening. It is a lot of work, though. Yeah. And then I like to read sometimes, and manage Justin's biggest thing right now is just being Hadleys cheerleader at her games, and it hurts stuff. And you know, that's kind of a hobby.
Chelsea Eubank:Especially, I mean, seasonally, too. Yeah. You know, it's
Callie Gurley:like it's a new thing.
Chelsea Eubank:Yeah, enjoying that. Yeah, I did have one. I heard one. Pastor, Dad parenting like tips was being super into what your kids are into. Yeah. And I thought that was so good. It's like enjoying trying to find and enjoy what they enjoy. Yeah, will mean a lot to them. And it'll give a lot of joy in your family. I thought that was really good.
Callie Gurley:Yeah, Hadley plays basketball. And I know nothing about basketball. All of a sudden, me and Justin, just love basketball. This changes it when she's playing.
Chelsea Eubank:Okay, so two of my questions are kind of inspired by something Jesus says in Matthew 22. He's asked which commandment in the law is the greatest and he says Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind in the second love your neighbor as yourself. My first question for you is what currently starts your love for God,
Callie Gurley:I would say, I have two things. The biggest thing right now is teaching. And the biggest one is teaching Hadley teaching her daughter, and the older she gets, you know, we're able to do that more on a deeper level. And that's just really, really rewarding and challenging. And it's just, but it just gives you this, this knowing that you're doing what God wants you to do and growing and developing them. And then, you know, teaching the youth and, and being with them seeing them learn. It's really, and then the other thing is just realness like I have, really the older I get, the more I've come to appreciate just someone's just raw honesty, and just, you know, openness to this is what's wrong with me. And this is how God's changed me. And this is what I'm asking God to work on. And because I can appreciate that in my life more so that somebody who's trying to look like they have it all together. Because that just doesn't It doesn't help anybody you know. Yeah.
Chelsea Eubank:And it's like it doesn't really help anyone feel seen and loved either, but also doesn't help us relationally at all, either if we're all trying to put up like fronts, yeah, or particular appearances, but I think that's a maturing age thing. When you kind of become a little more content in how the Lord made you and wired you and how he's taking care of you. You're you can be a little bit more willing to be vulnerable. Yeah, with someone because your security's not and what they think of you necessarily.
Callie Gurley:Yeah, that's a really free thing.
Chelsea Eubank:I wonder, would you say that also takes I'm trying to think of how you someone gets from is like the older you get how someone gets from point A growing, you know, to point B it's like, I imagine it might just be a practice thing. Like the the more you do it, the easier it probably gets, and maybe there's a fraction of degrees on what the thing is, you know, fighters admit to like I struggle with prayer right now or something is different than I'm struggling with another addiction to eat. I mean, like, there's probably varying degrees of Yeah. realness. But I think what you're maybe getting at, it's just an overall like attitude or ability for someone. Authenticity. Yeah.
Callie Gurley:Yeah, that's a good word. Yeah. And I think, you know, you'll, you and John probably already are seeing this, you are your authentic selves in front of your family, your children, and they're going to pick up on it. So far,
Chelsea Eubank:there's no hiding, not a lot of hiding.
Callie Gurley:And if you're trying to teach them about your prayer life, or how a prayer life should look, and they're like, well, when do you pray? That is just like, Oh, yeah.
Chelsea Eubank:The next one is kind of on the opposite. We talked about what stirs your love for God, what currently stifles your love for God? If there's anything? Oh, yeah,
Callie Gurley:so a couple things biggest thing is just not trusting God, I have dealt with anxiety, more so sits having chilled while having a child. And I don't, you know, it's not like I'm worried specifically about her. It's just this mounting anxiety, and it didn't really have a root cause. And so, you know, in thinking about it, and talking about it with other people, I just realized, you know, I don't really trust God with her. And I think, okay, I know what her life supposed to be like, but I don't trust God to do what's best for her, I'm gonna do what's best for her. And that is, I mean, that's crazy. It I don't know, it's just a default for a parent. But it's crazy to think that God doesn't know better than you. But I think Oh, my God, he'd brought it to it up for me to realize, like, because I just I never knew I had trust issues with God before Hadley. And now I realize, you know, because there's something so precious that you're in charge of, and, you know, responsible for and love so much. But you really have to reach a new level of trusting Him. And that's,
Chelsea Eubank:it's hard. It's hard. It's very hard. It sounds very, it sounds easier in theory. Yeah, that's what I need to do. But in a moment, when I'm tend to wallow in anxiety, or make a choice not to do something out of fear, or to do something out of fear. I'm like, this is that moment, this is that rub. This is either trust God or not, like,
Callie Gurley:I didn't even think about the pandemic on top of that. Right? I mean, because I'm not worried about it right now. But like, when it first started, nobody knew what was going on. It was like, do we get I mean, do I take her to store with me? Or, you know, it was just, nobody knows what's happening. And, you know, I mean, it was just a lot of unknown and fear, even if I didn't admit to it, it was like an underlying, feeding my anxiety.
Chelsea Eubank:So you just said, you know, God brought that up to me. Have you noticed since then, any kind of encouragement from him or particular scripture or any particular mantra that you're like, This is what I'm trying to practice? And it's getting easier in this way? Or it's not getting easier? It's okay, if it's not, but does that make sense? Like, any like, since then I feel, or I believe that he's helping me do that. And this is what I'm seeing.
Callie Gurley:So I have struggled a lot with, like, the the pain in our lives versus God loving me, and I know the right answer. But it's like my mind default is, maybe he doesn't. And I hate to even admit that to myself, but like, it always just lingers there. But I had a really close friend, you know, explained to me the power of words, and just keep yourself talking to myself as crazy as that sounds, you know, not in a Publix grocery store. But, like, you know, just saying the truth about God and who he is. And, you know, I've been watching the chosen everybody's kind of discover, which we just did this past year. And it's that if you've seen it, episode with Mary and that, an Isaiah when it's like, I called you and I love you. Yeah, no, and it's just so like, hit you in the face love. It's like, it's so complicated, and yet just so simple, like, he loves you. You know, and he loves her and he loves. He wants you and her, like, he wants you he's gonna chase after you and He loves you. And, you know, everything else kind of falls into place. I mean, not easily, but yeah, it puts things in a better perspective.
Chelsea Eubank:I, I've been thinking a lot about the especially in motherhood and parenthood, that if I like thinking about my trusting God, especially with Anna as like a muscle, that if I don't use it, it will atrophy and then when she's five, or 10, or 18, um, it's gonna hit me like a tsunami. I'm not gonna know, I'm not gonna know what to do and I'm gonna like, fall apart, you know, but if If I if I can practice that trusting or that open handedness or that releasing in small, easier ways, then maybe that muscle will slowly like at least maintain itself. You know, like, that's like just a mental example for me though, saying, I don't have to be great at this. It's okay if I still am a little worried about this, but I'm going to go through the worry, and I'm still gonna do it. Because if I never do that, if I never put myself in positions to need him, or to need to trust him, with her in small or large ways, then when something big does happen, it's gonna you're gonna hit the floor. Oh, my word, you know, like, yeah, yeah, really good way to look at it, because it's like, it's either gonna atrophy or it's gonna keep slowly getting stronger. You know? Yeah. Never perfect are never easy, even or even the most pleasant feelings. But at least that I have something that's there. That's working, that's doing something
Callie Gurley:for me. You know, those teenage years are coming for? Well, yeah. I just think about myself. I was rough. I mean, I was just, I was a really good kid. And I seemed like a good teenager on the outside. But I was sneaky. I mean, just bad.
Chelsea Eubank:And, and that's like, hard stuff. You know, that is stuff that only God can do that we can cultivate. And we can disciple and can teach and train. But ultimately, they're gonna make choices because they're their own people. And
Callie Gurley:that's the biggest trust. That's the biggest trust is knowing that God wants their heart. And so like, Yeah, nothing can separate them from him. If you do all the legwork and lead them to him. You can do it for
Chelsea Eubank:them. Yeah, yeah. It is kind of amazing, though. How? Because I never really wrestled with that until I had a child either. That temperament like wow, I don't actually. I've never really been a super big worrier, anxious person, and I'm pretty content pretty good with flow, I'm pretty like, okay, with whatever happens, and it comes along, and I'm like, Who is this person that I am right now. I mean, I thought I needed to, I mean, I went to counseling like twice, and like, say, postpartum or something is really like I need I need to talk to someone, you know, like, I was feeling all kinds of things, but something about remembering my recognizing and remembering my limits, and also God's nature, while I am responsible for doing a lot because I'm her mom, and God gave her to me, God gave her to me and John, you know, like, we have a lot of God given responsibility and control, gotta give him control, given what some guy given needs. But they only go so far, and God has to take it. And like you're saying, I just have to trust him to do that. And even if he doesn't like the way I want, I still have to trust that he's right. And why is it good at the timing? But it's not her. It's not my life. It's her life. You know? That's, oh, my gosh,
Callie Gurley:I'm glad you said that. Because that I thought I was crazy for thinking about that, like,
Chelsea Eubank:Okay, my next question is more fill in the blank. It's the truth that God is blank means a lot to you. Because, like, Okay,
Callie Gurley:I said, the truth that God is faithful means a lot to me, because I'm not. That is just a mantra in my prayers, just like, Thank you for being faithful, because I'm not. And I mean, I'm really so inconsistent about every single part of my life. About the only thing I told my students this morning, the only thing I do every day guaranteed is brush my teeth. And money, I mean, but gotchas. As much as I like to imagine him being disappointed and angry with me. I mean, he just wants me once my time and my attention. And that doesn't always look like quiet time officially with a Bible and a pen. I mean, even just as I'm going, you know, like Stanley says, along the way, just like being conscious of him and talking to him and my brain. And I mean, you know, there's no set way to be intimate with God. You know, when you do that spiritual gifts test, I could tell you right off the bat, Mom's not going to be faith. I mean, I just know that about myself. I'm all over the place. And I'm just not cuz to me faithfulness means just like always, there always. Yeah, just steady and reliable. And maybe I hope my child thinks I'm that, but I certainly don't see it in myself. And I want to grow in that. But I can also admit that it's something that I'm really lacking.
Chelsea Eubank:And I wonder if that can be looking at it from a bright angle is the things that we know we're not keep us in a place to need God for those things. Like, I'm not this way. I struggle with this. And you're perfectly this way. Yeah, I need you. Which is a really, I used to hate being needy. Even with God, I didn't. I felt like I needed to have it together as the Holy Spirit of the Bible. You I should know what I'm doing or I should know what to do. But you're ignoring him in the process. Anyways, there's something about the posture of dependence, ultimate dependence, like, I don't want to be perfectly anything, because then I will feel I would struggle more Yeah. To think about him or need him. And I think needing him is necessary, like that posture of total dependence is a really sweet place to be. And it took me a long time to get that. That's good. Last question is what is something you're looking forward to?
Callie Gurley:I struggle with this one, because I don't think about that a lot for some reason. So I basically, just think what God has in store for our little family and our little individual ministries, is kind of one aspect because, you know, my husband and I both work and we have these little mini ministries at work. And then we have, like, within our home, and we have a little Bible study we do with some close friends. And then excited about our church's whole big ministry. I mean, it's just, I can see God working and all of that, and never have had that really never have had that awareness to look for it. So, you know, that's exciting. Yeah, super cool.
Chelsea Eubank:Listening friends, it means a lot that you added us to your day to day. Thank you so much. Wherever you find yourself on your journey with Jesus. I hope you finished this episode with your faith teared, refreshed or strengthened. Until next time,